A psychotherapist, music fiend and aspiring world traveler with penchants for learning and laughter. A daydreamer extraordinaire and survivor of six Chicago winters. I am from San Francisco, spent a six year hiatus in the windy city and recently transplanted back to San Diego, which will always feel like home. A complex character and Rare Bird who hopes to inspire others to be so.

This blog is a gathering of tidbits on psychology, music, art, science, food and fashion. It is intended to inform, inspire, illuminate and to keep me from fidgeting.



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"She's my best friend. God, I hate her."  

 “Tomorrow, I'll be kissing her aerobicized ass, but tonight, let me dream of a world without Heather, a world where I am free.”

-Veronica Sawyer

The truly outrageous shoulder pads, oh-so-'very' hair bows, croquet mallets! Ahh..the gloriousness that is Heathers. This is one of my favorite movies of all time and I thought an appropriate topic to discuss. Not solely because of the sadly spot-on satirical portrayal of teen culture and angst (and because I am a sucker for black comedies and any and all things 80’s related or inspired) but because I kind of feel like I lived it.

I have found myself on both the inside and outside of clique lines. Both a Heather and a Veronica. I have bullied and been bullied. I’ve been bullied by my so-called best friends. I have fully identified with Veronica, played by Winona Ryder when she states, "I don’t really like my friends, they’re just people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit."

The lack of self-identity coupled with intense insecurity plaguing young girls throughout adolescence oftentimes leads them to create false selves. Without proper guidance and support girls will act in ways they know aren’t true to themselves. They essentially lose their individuality and authenticity and become another ‘Heather’. This then serves to perpetuate the insecurity and feeds the false identity while keeping them from developing their authentic selves. 

It is exhausting, dangerous and frankly, a waste of precious time.

We all need the ability to honestly express ourselves and feel accepted. My personal experiences with ‘Heathers’ have led me to value my individuality immensely and to feel the need to protect it with all of my might-somewhat to my own detriment (trust issues, what?).

This behavior also limits the formation of authentic bonds within the peer group. While popularity represents social status, friendships represent authentic relationships based on trust, honesty and mutual respect. Popularity and friendship within adolescence are totally separate constructs and this line is very often blurred for young people.

It has become my mission to help young girls understand that being a Veronica is way cooler than being a Heather. 'Using your grand IQ to decide what color lip gloss to wear in the morning and how to hit three keggers before curfew' is just plain stupid.

 So, drop the acts ladies. Drop the mallets. Be a Veronica. Be yourself.

"Grow up Heather, bulimia is so '87."

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